Deep Blue Publications Group LLC: 5 Tips for Assisted Living Placement for Couples
What
if one of your parents needs assisted living and the other doesn’t want to
leave their spouse’s side? Read our tips on finding AL for couples.
There are a lot of how-to guides out there to help you
through the senior care process; most of them focusing on what it’s like to
place one loved one into assisted living. But what if you are faced with
finding a place for both parents? As
life spans continue to increase, this situation is becoming more and more
familiar to those caring for aging parents. According to the U.S. Census
Bureau, the percentage of those aged 60 and over who reported being married has
increased over the past several decades, while the number reporting widowhood
has decreased. Many of those couples find it necessary to look for assisted
living as they age – and they want to do so without being separated.
Of course, this presents a number of challenges beyond those
involved with searching for senior housing for one parent only. What if one
partner has drastically different health care requirements than the other? How
can you ensure that both of your parents’ emotional and social needs are met?
Recently, researchers have begun delving into the topic of married life in
assisted living, and there are a few tips you can follow to make the process
run smoothly for both you and your loved ones.
Guidelines
for Placing Couples in Assisted Living
Health transitions are one of the most common reasons
prompting individuals or couples to begin the search for assisted living,
according to a study by Candace Kemp, Ph.D., an Associate Professor in
Gerontology and Sociology at Georgia State University. The key to not getting
caught off guard by a sudden health change is to start the planning process
ahead of time. Being proactive in this way is associated with greater
satisfaction in the long run, because it allows families and seniors to take
the time to find a facility that’s a good fit and it gives everyone more
control over the decision-making process. If you’re not prepared and there’s a
crisis situation, it limits the facility options available to you.
Especially for those without a family that is able to
contribute to long-term care, the prospect of putting both members of a couple
into assisted living can be financially daunting. Some facilities are very
expensive, especially for those with differing health status or those requiring
memory care, and in many cases assisted living facilities do not work with
Medicaid. Properly planning for long-term care can be the key to stretching the
resources you do have and enabling your aging parents to continue residing
together.
While more and more couples are entering older age together,
couples are still the minority in assisted-living settings, and most facilities
are designed with a single occupant in mind rather than two. When there are
two-person apartments available, they are often more costly. Beyond the
personal space issue are the realities of living in a community environment.
“Although each couple had a private room of varying size,” says Kemp’s study,
“the comings and goings of care staff, the regulation of daily life, and the
public nature of assisted living meant, according to one husband, that ‘no one
has privacy.’” Being aware of the differences between your parents’ current
environment and an assisted living facility can help everyone prepare better
for the transition.
Different couples have different relationship needs – and,
likewise, individuals within a couple may have different social and health
needs. If one member of a couple is healthier, more mobile, and/or more
sociable, it will help with their day-to-day well-being if the assisted living
facility offers leisure activities that are appealing and fulfilling for both
parties. If the healthier partner wants to take a fitness class, will they feel
comfortable leaving their spouse in the care of staff? Can both parties get
their social needs met? Be sure to research the amenities and care provided by
an assisted living facility ahead of time, to ensure that it will offer a
pleasant quality of life for both members of the couple.
Monitoring not one, but two parents in assisted living can
be an added challenge when you throw in the very real likelihood that one or
both of them may have unforeseen health changes in the future. In another
study, Kemp found that adult children often take on a greater magnitude of
responsibility when overseeing two parents in AL, a particularly challenging
task when the two parents had differing levels of infirmity, or different needs
at different times. One way to minimize stress in this situation is to
familiarize yourself with the facility’s policies regarding resident retention
in the face of health changes. If you’ll need to pay for additional outside services,
or move your parents to a different facility such as a nursing home, be well
aware of that possibility in advance.
One last bonus tip: arranging senior care for a couple can
be hard, requiring families to consider individual and shared needs of both
spouses – but don’t forget to consider the needs of the caregiver, and don’t be
afraid to ask for help from a Senior Living Advisor, financial planner, or
other expert when it comes to finding the best fit for your loved ones.
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